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Wednesday, October 2nd, 2002
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8:06 pm
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Well it has been fucking years since i last posted.
This is not the resurection tho, this is just because im thinking of bitching but dont want to bear the burden on any listener so lj sprang to mind.
A friend of mine has been behaving strangely towards me since we started uni, only 3 days i know but i can see these things. Just cant put my finger on why.
Ok no bitching, ive had enough.. bye bye cruel world, for another day at least.
current mood:  sick
current music: Tool - Disgustipated
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| Wednesday, June 19th, 2002
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6:59 pm - wow
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posted on monday, tuesday and now wednesday ! that must be some sort of record for me in recent times.
college, boring college. was in college 2day and it was boring. well the work was anyway.
got loadsa games i should be playing on cube and pc but doing college work instead ! because its more enjoyable...
i think some people are funny when i should be annoyed and vice versa at the moment.
whatever im feeling happy, even maybe tasty ! ...
current mood:  cheerful
current music: eels - spunky
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| Tuesday, June 18th, 2002
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9:53 pm - eels
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eels are a band i have unfairly overlooked even though ive loved every track of theirs that ive heard (stupid i know). but after borrowing cds off mate, simply great music and emotive. so are elbow, elbow are great. :D
current mood:  happy
current music: elbow - coming second
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| Monday, June 17th, 2002
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9:53 am - the end of the world....
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had an interesting thought the other day after watching spiderman. in nature spiders/snakes usually only have enough venom to kill their pray in order to survive. but apparently the australien funnelweb spider has enough to kill an elephant. who ever heard of a spider eat an elephant! could this be part of something more sinistar...
no more college after this week. mixed emotions. it will be interesting to see what happens between now and september when the cycle begins again at uni.
current mood:  blank
current music: nine inch nails - where is everybody ?
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| Tuesday, June 11th, 2002
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11:10 pm
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alton towers on monday was draining for me. i enjoyed the rides, i enjoyed the company. the morning i felt great with how things were going. things just built up and the afternoon i tried to keep myself to myself, letting the public face do its work when it was needed, but it couldnt fool myself...
to be honest i thought that i was mentally stronger than this. i must have been wrong. this is i think the most relevant piece of music to convey how i feel, lyrics and all, listen to it...
"Deftones - Fist"
Hello memory lover
You are mine
I gave everything
I need you
And someday
I'll be with her
I'll be with you
I will
I'm so dead
You're the first star
You're the one who sees it all
I know
I'm so tired
And sick
...
current mood:  exhausted
current music: Deftones - Adrenaline - 11
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| Saturday, June 8th, 2002
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11:54 pm - why does it always seem to be saturday ???
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for fucks sake.
a nice way to start an entry i know but who cares. saturdays are usually lonely cuz of what i used to do in the evening. they are shit. today was an exeption however. work was turd again. the works draining, the people are ok tho. some of them should back off when they are told but in general they are ok. went out bowling tonight with loads of guys from work, went to pub afterwards with some of them and it was cool, had about 5 pints, didnt buy one of them as usual, had person texting me again, back off for fucks sake im not interested.
anyway tonight was ok, i feel ok, not used to drinking at the moment, cut down loads because i didnt feel the need, now i want to lose myself.....
things are ok on a personal level with friends and alton towers on monday should be good, we are all going as friends so we should have a good time without any pressure to be anything more. im not to force em onto any rides, i wouldnt anyway but she has told mike and ad not to try, i only know too well not to push her when shes not wanting to do something.
my language has been bad and for some reason i feel i should apologise. !!
anyway i feel dead and im going to bed.
current mood:  sleepy
current music: elbow - powder blue
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| Wednesday, June 5th, 2002
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9:27 pm
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in keeping with a lot of other LJ's ive looked at lately i thought i too would start to add some song lyrics for either songs that i just think are good or for songs that mean something to me at the time.
this really is a great song and makes me feel quite emo. if you dont like pearl jam then you wont like this but thats your problem. and believe it or not this is a song that i liked before the shit hit the fan so although its relevant to my current situation, thats not why its here ...
Pearl Jam - Light Years
I've used hammers made out of wood.
I have played games with pieces and rules.
I undeciphered tricks at the bar.
But now you're gone. I haven't figured out why.
I've come up with riddles and jokes about war.
I figured out numbers and what they're for.
I've understood feelings and I've understood words but how could you be taken away?
And wherever you've gone and wherever we might go.
It don't seem fair. Today just disappeared.
Your lights reflected now. Reflected from afar.
We were but stones. Your light made us stars.
With heavy breath awakened regrets.
Back pages and days alone that could have been spent together but we were miles apart.
Every inch between us becomes light years now.
No time to be void or save up on life.
Oh, you got to spend it all.
And wherever you've gone and wherever we might go.
It don't seem fair. You seam to like it here.
Your lights reflected now. Reflected from afar.
We were but stones. Your light made us stars.
And wherever you've gone and wherever we might go.
It don't seem fair. Today just disappeared.
Your lights reflected now. Reflected from afar.
We were by stones. Your light made us stars.
goodnight xxx
current mood:  nostalgic
current music: as above...
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| Tuesday, June 4th, 2002
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8:56 pm
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well not long after the last post em sent me message and we had good chat and good laugh so cool. i called her and she was cold and naked cuz she just got out of shower so now i'll probably be to blame for giving her hypothermia :)
watched ghostbusters II earlier and really enjoyed it. Ive got this thing for Bill Murray at the moment, its really quite scary...
(added bill murray to interests...)
theres a fly in my room and im desperately trying to swat it with a mag but i keep losing it when it flies past the curtains. bastard, pointless flies. i got a huge one in my eye last sunday, i mean literally jammed in my eye, i'll probably develop rabies or somethin...
still really need a computer chair cuz sitting on the end of my bed is screwing my back good and proper. it gets really stiff, any sudden movements and i swear i'll snap my spine..
need to play vs mode in smash bros. for 20 hours combined play time to unlock mewtwo ( a secret character) and i really cant see that happenin. im gonna have to lock a few mates in my room and force it onto them for a whole night, alternatively i could entice them with alcohol...
just noticed how many sentences im ending with ...
current mood: cheerful
current music: cooper temples - did you miss me ?
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1:18 pm
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watched MI2 for the first time saturday night, had it on tape for ages but not bothered to watch it, thought it was good.
watched every football match so far except for ones which are on while im at work. work is shite at the moment, getting really bored with it, a couple of girls a little annoyed with me cuz im not interested in them, how fucked up is that, its not that i dont like them, just dont fancy them in the slightest, oh well their problem. i dont care and im quite happy to go on ignoring their text messages cuz i really dont want their attention.
its been a while since i saw em. saw her for about 10 mins on friday and not spoke to her since. im doing quite well resisting the urge to call her or speak to her on msn. she says she wants space and im finally giving it her :) i said to her that its up to her how much contact we have so i guess in the meantime i'll just muddle on. we are both going to alton towers next monday with college so we'll probably hang around together, not alone of course but it should be good.
found some pictures of us the other night, made me feel even more sentimental and both happy and sad. glad i found them tho :)
gotta go get some lunch because im starving, got a nice barbecue chicken roll waiting for me.
current mood: contemplative
current music: football commentary...
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| Saturday, June 1st, 2002
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9:29 pm - saturday again already !
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well how time flys, feel like ive missed a few days out of my life, doubt i'll remember it but would be something i'd be gutted about if i suddenly had some incurable illness and was gonna die. think sometimes that im gonna live everyday to the full, life however has too many responsibilities and that will slap you in the face. aint it a bitch...
every track on ideas above our station - hundred reasons is quality, downloaded remmus off their website too and theres another track that rocks. alot of the tracks even leave me feeling emotional too, its great stuff.
only a short post for now but back after watching a film, not sure what yet but it better be good.
current mood: thoughtful
current music: hundred reasons - remmus
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| Wednesday, May 29th, 2002
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5:31 pm - damn you size 11's ...
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i know exactly what it is i gotta do its just so damn hard trying to do it/or not to do it as the case may be.
anyway on a less cryptic note, gotta do a maths assignment for friday for gay gordon the "masters in IT" maths teacher. theres no way i'll get it done, not to a good standard anyway. other than that all the college work i gotta do is user support which is easy enough but is just too boring.
last weekend i had a touch of flu as i woke up sunday morning aching all over and feeling like shit. i then had to go to a funeral style event and the pub for a family meal afterwards. it wasnt a bad day at all considering and they had trampolines in the pub garden and they were great fun, i want one !! got back home then slept till the evening when i had to go play footy.
monday i was on the IT help desk at college all day as part of my user support unit. that was well boring but i got quite confident at answering the phone. monday night i did nothing at all.
tuesday i went into college and as soon as i got there i decided to give in and go to the canteen rather than try maths. sat with em in canteen all morning and we was getting along real well till again i place my foot firmly in it. things picked up again though in the afternoon before i went to art and finished all my work to relieve one of the pressures :) went bowling as usual in the evening and we lost for a change. didnt enjoy losing any more than i do winning at the moment .... im glad of the break half terms gonna give me from it.
today was pointless. the only thing i got out of it was a laugh with sherry and had good chat with em until again i put my foot in it, we did get a few things sorted however. college work was virtually non-existent, did some printing and thats it. spoke to sue about alton towers trip, left it late as usual and it looks like its gonna be full, shame because im gonna feel left out if i cant go.
this evening is gonna be filled with maths work and people bugging me on msn. not all people bug me of course, theres just some who i quite often wish would go screw themselves when they message me cuz i just dont wanna talk to them. im getting fed up with some people asking me to go out all the time aswell because it would be me, another girl and a couple, what does that tell you? and i couldnt be less interested. bangers and mash for tea, wooohooo my favourite :)
tomorrow im not gonna go into college i dont think because i should stand more chance of getting the maths done at home although i really dont know what to do. and it dosnt matter how many times i read the assignment its not gonna change anything (private dig).
still need to arrange where im gonna be watchin the footy on sunday. i dont think i'll be satisfied with my own armchair. the pub is not really appealing either so hopefully a mate will be getting a few beers in.. etc.
well i could go on and on in this post so im gonna abuse LJ again later. im managing to keep personal issues out of LJ which is good, may leave a few loose ends to people reading it but who cares, these things are private.
cya later
Andy
current mood:  hungry
current music: radiohead - you and whose army ?
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| Saturday, May 25th, 2002
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6:51 pm
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well yesterday it seems i forgot to say a few things:
1. the exam seemed easy :) maybe a little too easy ....
2. smash bros is good but not as good as i was hoping for it to be
3. bought hundred reasons lp like matt and it rocks ! after waiting ages for it im glad
i really used to look forward to a saturday night but these days they really are the lonliest evenings of my week, it doesnt matter if i go out with friends either, i still feel lonely, i really miss em
current mood:  lonely
current music: a perfect circle - 3 libras
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| Friday, May 24th, 2002
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11:20 pm - star wars
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i thought it was ok, the fact that i was absolutely shattered didnt help as it is fairly slow paced. this meant that i got bored with the storyline, ok i should stop trying to defend it, the storyline was for the most part just plain shit, the action however rocked and theres enough eye candy to last a lifetime. the stormtrooper style clone army is the best part of the plot as it makes you wonder just whats gonna happen in the third one. i must say also that padme or queen amedala, whatever, was really quite attractive.
thats a nice link to take me onto FHM's 100 sexiest women. kristen kreuk was number ten but for me she'd be number one as theres just something about her that draws me to her, maybe its cuz i see a resemblance to a close friend of mine ? who knows. anyway bed time, work tomorrow. xx
current mood: tired
current music: hundred reasons - silver
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| Thursday, May 23rd, 2002
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2:54 pm
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today went ok, i got into college at about 10am and did no work until 10.45. thats 45 minutes sleep that i could have caught up on. the rest of the morning and early afternoon was filled with nostalgia then played footy again after lesson and somehow my team lost even though we helluva better side than other team, oh well we'll beat them tomorrow :)
before we can play footy however theres the small matter of a systems analysis exam and i think i might go up to game and buy smash bros. for the cube to make sure i get a copy (too impatient to wait till saturday).
then theres footy which i cant get enough of at the moment, could be to do with the world cup being just around the corner. gotta get up nice and early to watch all the matches and "college ? ... what college ?" is very much the attitude im gonna take.
goin to the cinema to see star wars ep 2 tomorrow night with leanna and hannah and co. from work. should be good. im still not sure about the acting judging by the trailers but it looks good on the eyes and its star wars so cant be bad.
bye for now
~Andy~
current mood:  energetic
current music: tool - eulogy
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| Wednesday, May 22nd, 2002
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7:33 pm
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a few months and private posts later im probably the happiest ive been in a while. the pressures of college are lifting and i am getting along better with those closest to me, makes me feel nice and warm inside
on another note a tv program called smallville that i was really getting into again has just come to the end of its second series. we were left on a cliffhanger as you innevitably are and the "to be continued". that i was expecting but then the channel4 woman at the end says "smallville will be back on c4 with a new series at the start of next year" !!! thats like 7 months away !!! damn you c4 lady !!!
ive borrowed luigis mansion off a mate and it really is great, luigis cry of "mariooooo".... its so cool :) the cube is good and now i got time to play on it ! still got to revise for an exam which i think will go quite well, its amazing how happiness breeds confidence
david blane has filled the news alot of late for standing on a 100ft high pillar for 35 hours.... why ? he'll get money i know but surely this cant be classed as a stunt. how can those people sit there and watch him, go back for the bit when he jumps off for gods sake ...
ive decided that this is going to be my last post that talks about my personal feelings, ones that concern others that is. i dont think its right to do it and have never been comfortable with the idea of sharing these with the world. dont worry though LJ cuz ive got plenty of meaningless and useless shit going on in my head for me to 'entertain' folks with :)
anyway, anyone whos bothered to read this is probably in blah blah mode now so thank you and goodnight x
current mood:  peaceful
current music: watching the soap awards..... ?!?!?!?!?!?!?
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| Friday, May 17th, 2002
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7:50 pm - dear diary....
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well i told a few fellow Lj users that i'd made a private entry and got the piss taken outta me (not badly) cuz its like "whats the point" and "thats what girls do in their diary" well this i can handle but to be called yellow is takin it too fuckin far cuz some shit should not be shared
and im sorry Lj but my gf used to tell me off for swearing too much (at my own request as a deterent i should add) and lately its been real bad so in an attempt to cut down in the real world im gonna swear like buggery in here, so there :P
current mood:  aggravated
current music: Tool - aenima
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| Sunday, May 5th, 2002
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11:21 pm - the world goes round ...
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It seems like an age since i last made an entry. Been playin on the cube, not as much as i'd like cuz of soo much college work, super monkey ball is so addictive, im having withdrawal symptoms.
Working all day tomorrow, nice bank holiday, and got an art exam all day tuesday, theres not enough days in the week, it should be like in Doug, an extra day made after sunday called funday, that would be cool.
Physically im hurting a little, my feet from work and my left arm joints, i think must be from karting still though i dont know why, mentally i am ok again, not that i went mad but there is no more confusion, just the wear and tear of everyday life.
Im quite looking forward to the return of my parents from their cruise, ive never liked returning to an empty, quiet house, its like the loneliest feeling.
current mood:  numb
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| Tuesday, April 30th, 2002
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2:15 pm
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Well saturday night wasnt too bad, went to mates and drank just a little too much and was in bed all day sunday (i blame the fruit n nut). Still felt bad monday (that aint right) but went kartin in the afternoon and kicked ass :P
Got sooo much college work and sooo litle time (still time to post on LJ !) so i gotta get my head down and do that shit !
My folks are on a cruise of the med without me :( aint that a bitch, and i'd really like it if a *friend* of mine would come and stay cuz i think that if we spent some quality time together (without arguing) then things could maybe start to get better between us - heres hoping :)
current mood: hopeful
current music: aerosmith !
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| Saturday, April 27th, 2002
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7:56 am - boring, boring day
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well im looking forward to another ever-exciting day at Primark, picking up clothes dropped (and then walked on) by customers and then serving them with a smile when im on tills .... think of the money .....
This evening wont be much better either as iv got nothing at all to do other than college work so i guess its a night in front of the tele for me
 </p>
I am ALKALINE TRIO.
Find out which band you are! Apparently im alkaline trio, hey ho ....
current mood: numb
current music: the sweet sound of a female orgasm first thing in the mornin
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| Friday, April 26th, 2002
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3:34 pm - fuck you microsoft
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why cant they just make programs that dont try and fuck you sideways, dammit im gonna kill em all ...
current mood: enraged
current music: my mate swearin at access and talkin bout his spuds
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